Jealousy Of A Fragile Heart

I can't believe that I'm saying this. It's so not like me. Never felt this way, seriously, never did. Jealousy. Is his past still haunting him? Have he let go of his previous relationships, for real? for good? Honestly. Have you?
I don't want to simply get a "yes" just cause that's what I want to hear. I want to know the simple truth. TRUTH.
Those heart aching comments.. posted just a few months back. If one really loved someone SO MUCH, how could he or she move on so quickly?
Don't be selfish. Don't make me her replacement. I will hate you for that.
First the rush, then the distance. What, a test? I really hope I am strong enough for that.
I hope you are too.
I sound really silly for saying these but I can't help but to be paranoid. To be jealous. How stupid am I. How ugly have I made myself look.
The part where a 4 years old relationship of a friend just being broken, scares me. He took IT away from her. I doubt it'll too happen to me.
Ever wondered why my past relationships never lasted? I never once put all trust in them. I was too afraid to expose my vulnerable side. I never once loved.
I've got a bad experience. Not me but my folks. I do not want repetition of such tragedy. I would probably commit suicide if it tragically happen to me. My heart's been broken once and it is now fragile. Break it again and not just my heart will be broken. But my soul too.
This is hard. This is really really hard. I fucking swear it is!